My name is Fred. Fred Furrytail, IV in fact. And proud squirrel resident of UMBC. Life is great here on campus. Especially because there is a plethora of food so I’ll never get hungry. The humans have advocated for Starbucks to be open during the summer, so I get to nab a few crumbs here and there. I try to avoid coffee because I’m already a bit high strung.
The best place for the campus cuisine is the trash bins. I know, I know, it might seem a bit unsanitary but hey – I dig nuts from the ground. Anyways, it’s amazing what students throw away. I’ve pulled an untouched slice of pepperoni pizza and a twinkie roll. It’s a little difficult dragging the slice up a tree, but I manage.
Now, because of my high calorie diet I’ve been gaining a bit of padding around my midsection but I’ve decided to take up some light cardio. So if you see a squirrel frantically running back and forth on the street…that’s me…working out.
I also live in the big oak tree next to the biology building on Academic Row. When I get bored I look out my front entrance and I human-watch. Sometimes I like to drop acorns on inattentive humans and watch them stare at the sky in awe. It’s entertaining and if I feel mischievous I’ll drop a branch.
If you ever see me on academic row, feel free to wave or leave an offering. I prefer french fries, but I’ll accept oreos and potato chips. I’m not that picky.